You work out of a Hotel?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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