Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
