You're a womanizer and a bitch.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
