i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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