Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
