I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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