Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
then he tried to convert me to islam
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
