You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
