He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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