Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
