Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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