Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
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