Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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