nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
