i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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