I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
