At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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