Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
