Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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