So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
