what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
