If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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