4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
