Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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