since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
