this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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