please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
