We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
