I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
