He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I think people are normalizing furries
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
