Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
