if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
