I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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