Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
