my room smells like sperm. sweet.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
