C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
