I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
