everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
