But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
