so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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