Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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