i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
