shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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