Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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