just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I could fuck to npr.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Randomize