Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
