i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
