I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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