I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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