First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
