If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
