The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
