PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
