idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
