just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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