she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
