He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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