spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just googled if crying burns calories
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
