I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
