All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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