vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
